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May. 15th, 2006 | 03:21 pm
mood: amusedamused
posted by: aehallh in wownewbeginning

Night Elves: Poor Decision Makers

Level 60 Troll Hunter
Guild: Horde Explorer Society
Realm: Lightning's Blade
5/15/2006 1:46:14 PM EDT

Anyone ever notice how the Night Elves, when faced with important, world-changing decisions, INEVITABLY make the wrong ones? If it weren't for Night Elves and their screwups, I'd be inclined to think Azeroth in general would be a much nicer place.

Mistake 1: Destroying the Scepter of the Shifting Sands

Bronze Dragonflight: "Now that we've finally sealed away the
nemesis of all Azeroth, here's a scepter should you need to break the
seal and fight them again."

Fandral: "WAAAHH!"

*breaks scepter*

Bronze Dragonflight: "You dumb f*cker."

Mistake 2: Destroying the Well of Eternity

Queen Azshara: "Blahaharrrgh, I'm addicted to magic!"

Night Elves: "Well I guess that's cool."

Queen Azshara: "Blahahaharrrgh, I'm summoning demons!"

Night Elves: "Ok, that's not so cool."

*Bigass War!*

Malfurion: "I've got an idea! Let's blow up the world!"

Tyrande: "Come on, that's your solution to everything."

Malfurion: "No it's not! By the way, hold this."

Tyrande: "Hey, this looks like a-"


Tyrande: "...dammit, Malfurion."

Mistake 3: Recreating the Well of Eternity, Then Leaving It There and Falling Asleep

Illidan: "Hey guys, now that we just got done blowing THAT up, I just made a new one!"

Night Elves: "You stupid f*cker."

Malfurion: "Illidan, you're under arrest for playing the devil rock music."

Illidan: "How wude!"


Malfurion: "Anyway, let's just plant a tree over top of this sucker and call it a day."

Tyrande: "Uh, what do you want us women to do, Mal honey?"

Malfurion: "You all stay awake and keep the stove warm in case
we're hungry when we wake up. Oh, and don't go running off having fun
with your friends or anything, I want you in the kitchen where you

Tyrande: "But-"

Malfurion: "zzzzzzzzzzzz"

Tyrande: "Dammit."

Mistake 4: Staying Asleep

Orcs: "FOR THE HORDE! And also the Burning Legion!"

Night Elves: "zzzzzzzzz"

Undead: "For the lich king! Also, again, the Burning Legion!"

Night Elves: "zzzzzzSNRKzzzzz"

Mistake 5: Picking a Fight with the Orcs

Night Elves: "WTF?! Orcs cutting down our trees? Gettem!"

Cenarius: "I'LL take the case!"


Night Elves: "WTF!!"

Grom Hellscream: [Orcish] kek

Mistake 6: Releasing Illidan

Tyrande: "We need help, gotta wake the druids up. Oh hey, Illidan!
I'm sure 10,000 years of confinement has only rehabilitated him."

Illidan: "GROWLowlorarrrr"

Tyrande: "...although I could be wrong."

Illidan: "OOGHRARGHghhh!" *runs off*

Mistake 7: Blowing up the World, AGAIN

Medivh: "Quit fighting you nubs! Archimonde is coming!"

Night Elves: "Oh crap you're right. Too late now!"

Archimonde: "Bwahahahaha!"

Malfurion: "Hey, I've got an idea!"

Everyone: *groans*


Mistake 8: Stopping Illidan from killing the Lich King

Malfurion: "OMG! Illidan's doing something crazy to Northrend! Gotta stop him!"

Maiev: "I'm kookoo for catching Illidan!" *trips Tyrande*

Tyrande: "Aiiee!" *falls into river*

Malfurion and Illidan: "I'LL take the case!"


Illidan: "So you see, I was trying to DESTROY THE MOST POWERFUL EVIL BEING IN AZEROTH."

Malfurion: "Oh, uh..... my bad."

Mistake 9: Building a new World Tree

Fandral: "Man, I miss immortality. Let's make a new world tree!"

Malfurion: "I don't think that's a good-"

Fandral: "STFU nub."


Fandral: "See? This place is great."

Malfurion: "I dunno, it smells kinda bad... and I think I just stepped in some ooze."

Fandral: "Yeah? Well if you don't like it, why don't you go get lost in the Emerald Dream for a few years?!"

Malfurion: "You know what?! I think I will!" *gets lost in the Emerald Dream*

Night Elves: *facepalm*

Rest of Alliance: "Remind me why we put up with these guys?"

Bronze Dragonflight: "Because you're all a bunch of dumb f*ckers."

And...from post 24..
Mistake: Trusting Arthas

Illidan: No one understands me. I'll show them I'm not addicted to magic. I can quit anytime I want. Just as soon as I get done crawling in my skin.

Arthas: Hi, I'm evil.

Illidan: Yar, we fight now!

Arthas: Hey, you're pretty good at this. I'm totally not holding back and flattering you or anything.

Illidan: You're right, I am pretty awesome.

Arthas: You know what would make you even more awesome? Consuming the powers of that there demonic artifact.

Illidan: Brilliant idea! I'm glad I thought of it.

Arthas: Oh, and when you get done with that, kill that Dreadlord
what's responsible for keeping my boss, the Lich King, from getting out
from under Kil'Jaeden's thumb.

Illidan: Sure thing buddy.

*Illidan takes skull, and transforms into a big friggen demon*

Illidan: Sweet!

Tichondrius: WTF HAX?

Illidan: Yar! I kill you!

Tichondrius: Blarg! I are dead!

Illidan: Yay! Now that I've turned myself into a big friggen demon,
and killed this other big friggen demon, I've proved that I'm not
demonic at all.

Tyrande: You stupid !&$%er.

Malfurion: GTFO!

Illidan: No one understands me!

Mistake: Trusting Kil'Jaeden

Kil'Jaeden: I'm hella pissed that you screwed us over.

Illidan: Oh noes!

Kil'Jaeden: But if you destroy the Lich King, we're cool. I'll also give you your heart's desire.

Illidan: Sweet! I'm just gonna assume that you mean magic, because
Kil'Jaeden the deciever would never say anything that has a double
meaning which will screw me over later.

Mistake: Hiding from from Kil'Jaeden in Outland

Illidan: Oh snap, I failed to kill the Lich King. If Kil'Jaeden
finds me, I'm gonna get omgwtfpwned! I'd better hide. To do this, I
shall flee from Azeroth, to which he has no access except by being
summoned by absurdly powerful magics, the likes of which can only be
cast by those who don't like him anyway, and instead going to Outland,
which is basically his backyard.

Blood Elves and Naga: You are so smart!

Illidan: You understand me! Now lets beat up one of Kil'Jaeden's
lieutenants and take over his fief. Kil'Jaeden will never be the wiser!

Magtheridon: WTF? Ow.

Illidan: Who da man? I da man!

Kil'Jaeden: No, I da man!

Illidan: Oh snap!

Kil'Jaeden: You're an idiot. Now get back to work.

Supplimentary Mistake: Leaving Illidan without adult supervision. Twice.

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